Why Do This Again?

My first website, and what would probably be considered my first blog, was a GeoCities site about scary movies that I updated religiously for years way back in the late 1900s. Then came Tumblr... then a dedicated WordPress site... and another... and another. Until just a couple of years ago, I'd always had a website/blog. I'd always had a voice of some kind online, even if I was the only one who could hear it.

I tell myself that I stopped writing because I didn't have time, which is only partly true. I have plans to go into detail in further posts about the weird transition I seem to be going through now that I've hit my mid-forties, but suffice it to say, I never really ran out of time to write. I stopped making time for it because - at the time - I thought career ladders and success and the acquisition of "stuff" was what mattered and deserved my time. I've since realized that stuff is mostly pointless in the grand scheme of the Universe and I've stopped giving the crap we're all told to care about as much of time as I once did.

That leaves more time for other pursuits - like writing.

Years ago I left most social media. I deleted accounts all over the place: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr... all of them. I've since rejoined Tumblr, but I don't share anything there. I met some really cool people from all over the world when I was writing on Tumblr and we all still share random messages there once in a blue moon. I was briefly on TikTok, but when the US operation got bought out by a bunch of dudes I'd rather not share my data with, I deleted that account, too.

About the only place I have an online presence left (that I actually use) is Mastodon. I really enjoy Mastodon and I post there pretty regularly. I realized recently that I do a lot of 'almost posting' on Mastodon, though. I type out a post, read it 27 times, then delete it all and post nothing once I realize that what I was about post isn't really something I'm looking for interaction on. It's just a thought or comment or an observation. I don't want or need likes, comments, etc on those things. I just want to put them somewhere so they're out of my head (at least for the time being). My 'almost posts' don't really get the thought out, though. It's still there, bouncing around in my head, getting in the way of other thoughts I'd rather be having.

That realization led me here. No comments, no interactions, no social media sharing buttons or pandering to algorithms. Just a place to dump my thoughts without expectations or the ingrained drive to get follows or likes or anything of that nature. I think it'll be exactly what I need for my own mental clarity. Will I share links to posts I've written on Mastodon? Absolutely. Who knows - maybe one of my 9 followers there will want to see what I think about something. Maybe they won't. And that's OK.

This is for me.